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Participants remain anonymous to everyone except each ...
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The family argument starts over something small. Your spouse promised to be home on time, and wasn't. No apology followed. Resentment festers, and the argument escalates. Before long, it's no longer about punctuality. It's about respect. The volume goes up, the tone turns harsher, the wounds get deeper.
The kids are caught in the crossfire, just as you were when your own parents fought their wars of words. Or maybe you're fighting with them, too, stamping out brush fires of teenage rebellion.
There is new evidence that family arguing leaves a long-lasting imprint on children, diminishing their future happiness and ability to prosper in the world - even when the anger is verbal, not physical. The evidence comes from a landmark study that began more than 31 years ago in Quincy kindergartens, and continues with little fanfare today. The Simmons Longitudinal Study has followed more than 300 one-time kindergartners into adulthood, tracking them along the way, recording their childhood experiences, and matching that history against who they are in middle age.
It is the nation's longest running study of what determines good or bad mental health from childhood. Participants remain anonymous to everyone except each other and the researchers, who continue to observe how lives unfold - and every few years release a study on the lessons therein.
The most recent, published last month in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, focused on family arguments and physical violence. It looked at the effects of parents fighting with each other, and with their children.
As might be expected, participants interviewed at age 18 who reported physical violence at home had higher rates of mental and physical troubles at 30. But it also found that 15-year-olds exposed to their parents' verbal battles, or involved in family arguments, were more likely to be functioning poorly at age 30 than other people in the study who did not live in increasingly fight-filled homes.
The children exposed to family fighting were two to three times more likely to be unemployed, suffer from major depression, or abuse alcohol or other drugs by age 30. They also were more likely to struggle in personal relationships, but that was evident to a somewhat lesser degree.
Helen Reinherz of Simmons College, who has led the Quincy study since its inception in 1977 and watches "her kids" with scientific interest and personal compassion, found the lasting effects surprising.
While it makes sense that physical violence scars children, she said, "the documentation of the potential lasting influence of verbal conflict is significant. . . . We believe that exposure to increased family argument in adolescence served as an important marker for impaired functioning into adulthood."
Added Reinherz: "Fifteen-year-olds are very volatile at that age. It's kind of amazing to me that these kids who had arguments, which everybody thinks is part and parcel of being an adolescent, were still at age 30 showing there were strong associations between existing in that environment and a variety of negative outcomes."
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