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Top 25 tips to Drinking Wine like a pro
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by: Guest
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1. Look at the wine list before asking, "What kind of wines do you serve by the glass?" The list at my bistro's extensive. If I've got to rattle off all the wines, you're wasting my time. Forgot your reading glasses? I'll lend you mine.
2. Don't ask, "What's cheap?"
3. We love selling glasses of wine! The restaurant makes more money per bottle that way! Pssst! It's usually cheaper to buy the bottle.
4. No, you can't taste every wine on the list before deciding on something.
5. Read the wine list. Note the prices!
6. Remember the mark up - Most establishments mark up the price of a bottle from 1 ½ to 5 times the wholesale price. (At my bistro the markup's pretty low.) Since you're paying so much I recommend getting something you can't get at the gas station or Stew Leonard's. But that's just me.
7. If you can't pronounce the name of the wine, don't. Just tell me the number. It's like ordering in a Chinese restaurant. And don't get all self conscious that "Brunello Montalcino di Biondi Santi" rolls off my tongue with the greatest of ease. I've had plenty of practice. You haven't.
8. When the waiter presents the bottle LOOK AT THE LABEL! Sometimes waiters make mistakes. My bistro has several wines of differing vintages from the same maker. Sometimes a '97 is a shitload more expensive than an '01! You drink it you buy it. Caveat emptor pal.
9. DO NOT SMELL THE CORK! - When I see someone do this I know I'm dealing with a complete amateur. Guess what you're gonna smell? Cork! You want to feel the cork to make sure it's intact. Is the bottom of the cork moistened with wine? Good. That means it was stored properly. Make sure the name on the cork matches the name on the bottle. Sometimes unscrupulous bastards put cheap wine in old wine bottles and re-cork them! Is there mold on the cork? That's a bad sign. But smelling the cork, in the vast majority of cases, tells you nothing. (Full disclosure - I used to smell the cork before I was a waiter.)
10. DON'T SMELL THE PLASTIC CORK EITHER!- I can't tell you how many times I've seen people do this. Lots of wine makers are moving away from natural cork to synthetics. Sniffing a plastic cork tells the world you're a moron. Don't smell the bottle cap either. (I never smelled the plastic cork before I was a waiter, so there!)
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