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The four stages of father and daughter relationships defined
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Dads get weepy too. Men also get postnatal depression after becoming parents, according to a report in the Mumbai-based Daily News & Analysis last week.
//-- Dads get weepy too. Men also get postnatal depression after becoming parents, according to a report in the Mumbai-based Daily News & Analysis last week.
The clipping was shown to me by a new father, who said: "That explains why I feel sad and fat, and old and tired." I pointed out a flaw in his argument. "No, it's because you ARE sad and fat, and old and tired."
This evidence that he wasn't suffering from depression curiously failed to cheer him up.
He fought back by arguing that an article in this space last week that said men face special challenges raising daughters left him in a state of grim foreboding.
I told him to fear not. Experts say dads and daughters go through four stages, each easier than the previous one. First, Daddy and Daughter are the Kitten and the Dog - different species who cannot communicate.
Typical conversation is as follows. Daughter says: "Daddy, which would you rather have? A set of glitter scooby strings, or a rainbow BF4L bracelet?" Dad replies: "Er ..."
The Kitten knows that Dad's guilt can easily be used to her advantage. "I'm the only girl in my class without a Baby Alive, almost," she sighs. Dad has no idea what a "Baby Alive" is, but he pats her hand and replies: "Well, we'll just have to see what we can do about that." At which point, the Kitten pulls out a Toys R Us order form with 17 items ringed in scented pink glitter ink, totaling HK$4,995, and says: "Just sign here."
As daughter grows from being an irrational blob into an adorable young girl, the daddy-daughter pair becomes the Enchantress and the Spellbound Suitor. Daddy is unable to say no to the most extreme requests.
A typical conversation: "Daddy, can I have a Ferrari F430 Spider?"
Dad: "No, sweetheart, you're only nine years old."
Daughter: "But you can keep it in a garage until I'm old enough."
Dad: "Well, okay, let me talk to your mother." This is a tricky stage for moms, since dads constantly make ludicrous promises, and it's the moms who have to scratch the Ferrari F430 off the shopping list.
Luckily, this stage only lasts a few years, and then father-daughter reach the Twin Planets stage. Dad and daughter become Mars and Venus. Both know their job is to circulate around the Sun (who is, of course, his wife/ her mother), but with their own gravitational fields.
Although mom makes most of the key decisions, father and daughter sometimes unconsciously work together to subvert her wishes.
Here's a typical conversation. Mom: "I think I'll make my carrot and courgette special tonight."
Dad: "Er, that would be nice, but didn't we have it recently? I fancy a steak."
Mom: "We haven't had my carrot and courgette special since 1974."
Daughter: "Actually, mom, I'm in a steaky kind of mood myself."
Mom: "But you're a vegetarian."
Daughter: "That was last week."
At that point, it's the moms who start to suffer from depression.
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