Manny's a dope, but who cares?

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Apologies to Ken Griffey Jr., of course, whose body, as far as we know, is full of nothing but Cap'n Crunch and Spaghetti-Os. Junior is the exception that proves the fool.

And Ramirez is a fool. I mean, how dumb must one be now, to get caught doping in Baseball?

Reds players react to Manny news

You ingest a substance, you want to know if it's approved or disapproved, you make a call. There is a hotline especially for the purpose. Every team has a doctor. He takes calls. If you're a player and you want to know if it's against the agreed-upon rules to snort coke to clear up a sinus infection, you call the hotline or the doctor. Or you have someone who hangs with you make the call. If you're going to pay a posse, a crew and an entourage, you might as well get your money's worth. This is not difficult.

ESPN reported Ramirez was using something called hCG: Human chorionic gonadotropin.

Come again?

I'm sorry, but do you know anyone currently taking that?

I know people who take aspirin after drinking and Advil after golf. I know people who take amoxicillin when their ears ache. After surgery once, I slammed Vicodin for a few days. I stopped when I started seeing little green men on the hood of my car.

But I pretty much draw the line at human chorionic gonadotropin. In fact, I'd be real careful ingesting anything with the word 'gonad' in its name.

Maybe Manny has some exotic, sub-tropical ailment that can only be cured by human chorionic gonadotropin. If he does, we apologize in advance. Otherwise, what was he thinking?

ESPN says hCG is 'a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle.'

Lovely.

Makes you want to run to your neighborhood drug store, doesn't it? Get yourself some hCG and start pumpin' iron. Down a few gonad pills, feel like Tarzan, go yard. You, too, can see your noggin grow like a head of lettuce in the San Francisco sun.



Baseball has had a drug policy since 2003. It's a tough policy, as drug policies go in pro sports leagues. It has nabbed a few high profile players. It has claimed the good names of several more. It has been in the news, in other words. Where was Manny?

People worry for The Future of the Game. They have it all wrong. Fans mostly don't care. They care in L.A. now, but not because Ramirez did it. Is there anyone in Los Angeles who isn't on something, hasn't been on something or isn't currently contemplating getting on something? No, they care because Manny got caught.

Their Manny is out 50 games.

But there is no multiplier effect. If a ballplayer dopes in L.A., no one mourns in St. Louis.

The game, like all great games, is bigger than the occasional moron who plays it.

Baseball has overcome the Black Sox, the designated hitter and the occasional canceled World Series. It has weathered the Hit King's gambling and the Home Run King's ultra-large lid. The reaction to the Steroid Age? Record attendance.

Fans don't care, unless it affects their team, and even then, the freak show is a momentary diversion. Every passing parade has its unusuals. They entertain, too, in their way. Baseball has nothing to worry about.

After 50 games, Manny Ramirez will be back. If the Dodgers are still in contention and Manny helps them to the postseason, all will be forgotten. Just because five of the top 12 home run hitters ever have at least been linked to steroid use doesn't mean fans don't dig the long ball. Fans see it for what it is: It's just Baseball being Baseball.

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